Holding on to You
by zizi82
Summary: "He loves you so much... do you realize that?" ... Harry and Hermione share a lovely dance at Ginny's engagement party, but a certain witch is watching from afar. Afterwards, Hermione encounters an odd conversation with Ginny that brings back feelings she had certainly locked away. Ignore epilogue. Oneshot.


**A/N: Hey guys! I fixed this chapter up and put it in mainly Hermione's PoV 3rd person. I think I'm going to make this a multi-chapter story, but continue to read it as a oneshot just in case I don't. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, for if I did, Harry and Hermione would have certainly been endgame.**

Harry swirled her around once more, but when she finally came to a standstill she found the room was still spinning. He pulled her small body closer towards him and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. And suddenly, she found her own arms were wrapped securely around his neck.

Finally, the dizziness began to fade away and his face came into focus. He was smiling down at her, with those sharp green eyes of his, the ones she had grown so fond of. A grin had formed on his face and she couldn't help but smile up at him. How she wished they could stay like this.

"Remember the last time we did this," Harry suddenly whispered into her ear.

His warm breath sent chills down her spine. With an amused face, she quietly replied, "You certainly have gotten better since the last time."

He laughed wholeheartedly now, but as soon as his laughter died down, he gazed back down at her. It looked like he wanted to say more, but decided against it. Hermione gave him a reassuring smile and he could only smile back. It was always like this between Harry and her. No words needed to be spoken between them, they had something special; a connection no one could understand. She can simply tell how he was feeling by just a glimpse of his eye or a touch of his hand… it may seem odd to others, but that's how they were.

Sighing, she laid her head on his chest, taking in the moment. She felt as if all her troubles and worries were erased from her mind. Harry did always have that effect on her. She slowly closed her eyes, never wanting to let go of him. She heard Harry sigh contently as he tilted his head to rest lightly atop her head.

Hermione could feel Harry's arms loosening on her hips and as soon as she was going to question it, he took hold of her hand and spun her. She let out a surprised laugh as he laughed along with her. Finally, pulling her back into his arms, he swayed their bodies together at a slow pace, and she felt as if she was her teenage age-self again, dancing with her best friend. They moved as one… again, no words spoken. She was smiling uncontrollably, but all that happiness disappeared when a certain Weasley came into sight.

She had looked over his shoulder and instantly regretted it when Ginny appeared. She didn't know how long the youngest Weasley had been standing there, but Hermione already felt uncomfortable. Ginny was standing there at the edge of the dance floor, her arms crossed in front of her chest as her eyes focused on Harry and her.

Drawing her eyes away from Ginny's figure, Hermione gently pulled herself away from Harry's arms. As much as she didn't want to end their lovely dance, she knew there was a limit. And she had to keep her distance, especially with Ginny watching them so closely.

Her eyes found his and she saw confusion spreading on his face. He asked, "Is something wrong?"

Harry obviously hadn't noticed that Ginny had been standing there for who knows how long. After the toast was given earlier in the night, Harry had barely been in contact with Ginny. Hermione knew this for a fact, because he was with her the entire time. Guilt began to wash over Hermione. What kind of friend was she?

"It's nothing. I just – It's been a long day and I think I should head home," she quickly said, hoping he wouldn't notice anything odd in her behavior.

"Oh…" he responded. She watched him closely as he looked down at the ground. That smile that he wore proudly during the dance had long disappeared now. Now, Hermione felt guilty for upsetting him. Suddenly, he lifted his face as though he had a brilliant idea. "Well, would you like me to take you home? I mean, I could-"

Hermione couldn't help but smile at his offer. "It's fine, Harry. I am quite capable of apparating by myself."

A grin formed on his face once more, and he stuttered a reply, "Yes, er - right… Well, I'll see you soon then?"

She nodded. "Goodnight, Harry."

Hermione leaned in to give him one of her infamous hugs. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he pulled her body closer. She quietly said, "Thanks for the dance." She felt him nod against her shoulder. And just as she was about to pull out of their embrace, Hermione was tempted to leave a kiss on his cheek, but she knew better not to. She simply began to pull away from his arms, but he wouldn't loosen his grip. Confused, she looked up at him.

"No, kiss on the cheek?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

She was shocked to hear this. Yes, she had kissed him on the cheek numerous times before, but he has never asked her for one directly. Hermione tilted her head towards the right, and then answered, "I would… but your fiancée has been watching us and I don't want to cause any trouble between you two tonight."

She watched as his gaze shifted over to the right of them for a short moment, before locking eyes with her once more. A frown marked his features now. "That's not why you're leaving, is it?"

Hermione sighed and tried to pull out of his arms again, but he kept a secure grip refusing to let her go. "Harry," she warned him, in a tone that meant she didn't want to discuss anything further.

"Is it?" he questioned her.

He wasn't going to let this go. She hated to lie to him, but it was the only way to calm him down. She shook her head and replied, "I'm leaving because I'm tired and have work in the morning. Now do I have your permission to leave?"

"As long as it's not because of Ginny."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and she could feel him tighten his grip more. "I promise," she assured him. She rose slightly on her toes and softly pressed her lips to his cheek. She could only hope that Ginny wasn't watching from afar. "Are you happy now?"

"Very much," he chuckled. She felt his arms leave her waist, but he began to raise his one arm. She could feel him brush his hand along the side of her face and then he tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "Goodnight, Hermione."

_'Why Harry James Potter? Why must you make this so hard?' _she thought.

Hermione felt short of breath and hastily turned away from him, forgetting to bid him a congratulations on his engagement or even a goodnight. Quickly, she peeked over her shoulder and took a trip down memory lane as she saw the boy in tent who was only trying to comfort her, was left standing there all alone again.

She needed to leave.

Making her way through the party crowd, she remembered that she should thank Mrs. Weasley for hosting another beautiful event at their household. As much as she wanted to leave right away, she knew it would be positively rude of her not to say goodbye. Looking for Mrs. Weasley amongst the large crowd was liking looking for a needle in a haystack. She was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, Hermione heard someone calling out her own name. She gulped and closed her eyes, not wanting to believe whose voice it was. She could already feel the confrontation coming. She knew she should have left right away. She knew that she shouldn't have kissed Harry on the cheek. She knew that she shouldn't have accepted his dance proposal. She knew that she should have kept her distance from him.

She knew that she shouldn't have fallen in love with her best –

"Hermione!"

She opened her eyes and saw the future-Mrs. Potter walking up to her. Hermione looked at her, but she was surprised that her blues eyes didn't spat with red fire. Instead she noticed a tranquility in Ginny's face and Hermione was oddly confused. Ginny stood in front of her, continuing to open her mouth to speak, but then quickly closing it. Hermione could tell that the young witch wanted to say something.

Ginny finally said, "He danced with you..."

Hermione had no clue what to say. She couldn't deny it, because Ginny saw it happen. She could say it was just a dance between good friends, an innocent dance, but she knew that Ginny wouldn't believe it. After all, Ginny always did have a good eye at these things, even since Hogwarts. She knew Hermione too well.

Hermione found herself nodding her head.

Silence.

"He never dances with me."

She quickly replied, "Well, he's not exactly much of a dancer, is he? I mean, you saw him at the Yule Ball his fourth year. "

Ginny shrugged her shoulders and stated, "But he danced with you just now."

"It was just a friendly dance, Ginny," Hermione said, trying to assure her. "Harry and I are just friends, how many times must I tell you this?" She watched as Ginny studied her as if trying to solve a case that clearly didn't want to be solve. It made Hermione grow nervous. She really needed to leave now. "Why don't you ask him to dance? I'm sure he'd be delighted."

"Funny you should say that, I just did." Ginny paused for a moment. "And he said no."

Hermione's whole body grew still. _Why didn't Harry dance with her? _This wasn't going to end well now, she just knew it. In a shaky voice, Hermione offered her a reasonable explanation. "Oh – well, I'm sure he's probably just tired."

Ginny pointed out, "That's what he said as well."

"Then it's the truth, right?"

"Or not…"

This conversation was beginning to make Hermione feel more than uncomfortable. She had to do something about it. Put an end to her misery.

Hermione began to ramble. "Ginny, I'm not going to say sorry for dancing with him because you and I both know Harry is just my friend and you should trust me, because I would never want to –"

"Oh no, Hermione, you don't have to explain yourself. It's okay. Really." Hermione stared at the young witch as Ginny nodded her head along with every word. "It was just a dance, like you said." She flashed a smile at Hermione and they locked eyes for a split second, before Ginny quickly looked down at the ground. Hermione's eyes followed and she saw Ginny twiddling her thumbs together.

Again, silence filled between them.

"You know how love has its unexpected twists and turns in relationships… and many fail to hold on for the long ride… but you," she looked up at Hermione at this point. "Hermione, you have a tight grip on yours."

"Ginny, I don't quite understand – "

Not allowing Hermione to speak any further, Ginny said in a soft tone, "You don't realize how lucky you are, Hermione."

She gave Ginny a confused look.

"Sometimes, I wish I could be you." Looking up at Hermione again, she continued on. "Harry – he loves you so much… do you even realize that?"

As Ginny said those last words, Hermione saw her shift her gaze and frown as she watched the dancing figures in the middle of the dance floor. Hermione had no clue where this suddenly came from, nor did she know what to say to her friend now. Did Ginny expect her to say something? She was thinking too much at the moment, but no clear words could come to mind.

Hermione was honestly speechless, and that's something very rare in her case. Before she even had time to reply, she saw Harry appear from the crowd and quickly walk up to the two girls.

"My two favorite girls. Are you two having fun?"

"We are," Ginny answered him, quickly erasing the frown and pulling on a smile for her fiancé. She wrapped an arm around his waist and Harry put his arm around her shoulders. Hermione had to tear her eyes away from their sweet exchange to avoid the pain that was certainly building by the second.

"I thought you were going home?" Harry asked Hermione with a confused look on his face.

Hermione looked down at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes or Ginny's. "Yes, I was just leaving…" Quickly, she looked up and said, "Ginny, be sure to thank your mother for another successful Weasley party."

"I certainly will, Hermione," Ginny smiled.

"And congratulations to the both of you, I wish you all the best. You two deserve each other." Her throat began to tighten up at the last words and she tried her best to hide her disappointment with a bright smile. With not much confidence, she bid them a good night.

Harry smiled, "Thanks, Hermione."

Before she walked away from the engaged couple, she felt Harry wrap his free arm around her waist and pull her closer to him. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, lingering there for a few second more than usual before pulling away. "Good night," he said.

"Goodnight." Hermione heard Ginny say, but she still refused to look at her, not wanting to see her reaction.

Hermione was finally able to leave and with the opportunity she quickly headed outside. Once she walked into the front yard, she looked back and saw through the window, Harry and Ginny hugging tightly. She sighed to herself, unsure of what to think now. She had never understood his relationship with Ginny and she probably never will. But then again, Ginny would never understand her relationship with Harry or so Hermione thought that she would never understand it.

With tears rimming her eyes, Hermione now knew what she would have said to Ginny early.

"You may wish you were me, Ginny… but I wish so _desperately_ to be you. The one in Harry's arms, the one he is to spend the rest of his life with," she whispered to herself.

Ginny was right. Love does have its unexpected ways in life, but unlike so many, Hermione continued to hold on with a steady grip. Just barely holding on to the boy who offered his hand to dance with her. And she had her chance all those years ago in the tent, and she chose to walk away. Scared of what she was feeling for him.

Scared to accept the fact that she was unconditionally in love with him.

Harry may not know that, and he may never will… but Hermione does.

And now Ginny might too.

And with that last thought, she apparated away.


End file.
